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Due to the massive amount of low-level humour that abounds in England surrounding toilets and the national desire for queueing, we found it nescessary to attempt to provide the Big Chill festival, 17th August 2002, with the world's first truly mobile broadband portaloo. To those of you unaware of the term portaloo, it is a small smelly portable toilet (similar to a phone box or kiosk), usually found hanging around in rows at outdoor events and often rendered unusable after 30 minutes or so of heavy festival use.
This wasn't at the request of Big Chill you must realise. Also I should warn you not to attempt this at home. All the people involved have had their names changed to protect the innocent from the un-humorous.
Having done the appropriate amount of queueing, our team rapidly got to work, scaling the portaloo in moments with deft acrobatic skill. There was a hedge inconveniently positioned between the portaloo and our server antenna making line of sight only possible by standing on the roof.
Unfortunately the team member passing up the antenna also then pulled on the cable, bringing "Rooftop Antenna Technician" Dave back down to the ground, extracting mirth from those queuing for pooing. It also attracted the attention of a steward, who came to find out whether we were "alright".
Moments later the portaloo had been scaled again, with the antenna and the cable passed through a small (and seemingly purpose made) hole in the roof to "Internal Network Technician" Iain. Meanwhile things were hotting up on the steward front, questions had gone from "are you alright?" to "are you supposed to be doing this? If Security see you...."
In an attempt to play for time "Rooftop Antenna Technician" Dave tried bringing the conversation round to a little light chat about everyday stuff. Meanwhile "Independent media" Mike was juggling the role of cameraman recording the event for posterity (video 3.2Mb) and carrying the bags and laptop ready to be installed...
"Internal Network Technician" Iain connected the antenna and established a connection on a Mac Powerbook, the excitement in the queue was building and the steward, realising there were no security to be seen, had resorted to calling us names. Like "mad" and "perverts" in a professional manner reserved only for stewards. This was the icing-on-the-cake, as "Internal Network Technician" Iain downloaded his email and checked a web page to much excitement and laughter.
So there it was in all its splendour and technological achievement - the world's first bi-directional satellite wireless broadband portable toilet (in Hereford). I would like to say that "Internal Network Technician" Iain got the chance to have a poo as well, but the portaloo did smell pretty bad and more stewards were gathering.... time for a sharp exit.
Rooftop Antenna Technician Dave with Buffalo Extended Range Antenna
Internal Network Technician Iain announcing success...
The portaloo was connected to the internet via an 802.11b wireless network and a bi-directional satellite link. The wireless signal was transmitted from the laptop through an 802.11b pcmcia card connected to a Buffalo extended range antenna. This signal was then bounced via an omni-directional antenna positioned on the roof of a microwave links vehicle (on top of a hill) using a dell laptop running Debian GNU/Linux and a Buffalo Airstation, together acting as a wireless repeater linked via another Buffalo extended range antenna back down the hill to a waveguide "can-tenna" and an Apple Airport which was a gateway and firewall to a bi-directional satellite system. For more details see how the network was set up for the Big Green Gathering festival.
The festival site at dawn, as viewed from the Microwave links vehicle on the hill. The portaloo is just behind the hedge in the foreground.
Microwave links vehicle on the hill, shrouded in shade netting to help maintain the beautiful sky line view.
Big Chill FM portacabin with the satellite dish installed, as viewed from the microwave links vehicle on the hill. On the mast is a TV antenna, an FM omni-directional and a barely visible 802.11b waveguide antenna pointing this way.
Internal Network Technician Iain chilling after yet another world first.
Location: The Big Chill Eastnor Castle Eastnor Ledbury Herefordshire HR8 1RL X:373400 m Y:236800 m 52:01:44N, 2:23:23W Grid Ref:SO733368 Elevation Approx 109m Map of the area
Beautiful picture of Eastnor Deer Park at dawn.
Author: sinister@computertorture.com
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